Kelly Brook Shouldn’t Have to Pay for Parking
Kelly Brook
I said nothing when Los Angeles City Parking started charging eight-thousand dollars and your right nut for an expired meter violation. Godzilla footprint sized pot holes don’t just pay for themselves. But we need some kind of caste system regarding parking meters that favors attractive women with big ole honking titties and disfavors, you know, the opposite. There’s nary a single social transaction where women with enormous tubes in short skirts don’t get some kind of preferential treatment. This is how a society shows that it values boner-inducing women and how everyone else should just shut the fuck up.

Who gets free parking now? The disabled and their smarmy blue placards. Those individuals who lack the capacity to ambulate an extra five parking space widths to get their Subway footlong, but who we encourage to motor two-ton vehicles down the road at lifetaking speeds. Meanwhile, look at Kelly Brook struggling with a parking meter. How is this world made any better if she starts staying home and the byways are filled with crooked backed seniors who forget to turn off their turn signals until next February?

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